What The Heart Wants
by TheBlindBandit999
Summary: I miss you.. so bad.. Hik Harhu may be longer than a one shot!


Okay this started out as a sad little oneshot... I'm gonna make it into something more.. hehe... sorry about Haruhi, but I felt she needed to be dead to make this work... I'm sorry if you don't like the fact that she's dead...but that's the way it is...

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran or any of its characters... But I do own Murasaki Hitachiin-Fujioka =3

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Broken. That's how my world is. Everything is broken, is pieces, smashed, not together, not fixable, cracked, unusable, busted, and another words that mean broke. My friends, my confidence, my faith, my hope, my daughter, and most importantly my beautiful wife of 5 years, they are broken to bits.

It doesn't matter if the best doctors in Japan are doing their best job, her days are numbered. It's the same cancer that took her mother at the same age, it took this long for it to catch up with her and take her down in with force and cruelty. It's my fault, she would have been fine I'd really noticed the tiredness, the pain she complained about, how much effort it took for her to lift Murasaki from the floor. No I only noticed when she collapsed on the floor yesterday. I'm a horrible person, I'm a—

"Hikaru, quit staring off into space, you can do that when I'm dead." Haruhi laughs and pats the plastic chair next to her.

"Haruhi don't say that, you'll be fine. I know you will be." Hikaru slid into the chair and clutched her hand. He was the only other person in the room. Everybody else was in the hall.

" Can you get Kaoru and Murasaki in here? I need a word with them before you let everybody in." Haruhi sighed, she was so tired, the illness was sucking the very life from her.

Hikaru leaves her side almost unwillingly, and goes into the hall. Outside the door sits the six men we all know and love and Murasaki, the first child of Hikaru and Kaoru.

"How's Haruhi?" Tamaki asks, probably because they drew sticks, not because he's brave enough to ask.

"Momma?" Murasaki, "Kiki for short, asked when I took her from Kaoru's lap. He is the only other person besides me or Haruhi that she will let hold her. She hits and bites everyone else.

"Not good. Kaoru, come on she wanted you and Kiki in there before everybody else, her words not mine." I say going back into the sterile hell my lovely tanuki wife will spend her final moments, it's cruel really, if you know there's no hope, like the doctor said, why keep her here? To agonize her longer? To keep her heart pumping the cancer ridden blood, licking her veins, making every heartbeat sting? Or is it really for my own enjoyment? To see her lying, helpless and fragile, while all I can do is sit and watch her bite the dust?

" Haruhi," Kaoru runs for her, swaddling her body with his, " you can't go, I need my sister to balance out Hikaru."

"Oh, you guys seemed to manage for the first fifteen years, what are sixty more?" Haruhi says calmly, knowing exactly what she just said.

"Don't say that! You, you're gonna live!" Hikaru says angrily, almost dropping Murasaki on the floor.

" Wow, laughing at death in the face, you are brave." Kaoru says taking his niece from his brother, and putting her in Haruhi's lap.

"Mommy, are you gonna die? Uncle Tamaki say you're gonna die." Murasaki looks up at her momma, with tears welling in her chocolate eyes flecked with slivers of amber, her brown hair glued to her face from tears.

"Honey, we don't know yet, and uncle Tamaki is a baka for telling you that. I'll always protect you, you know that?" Haruhi kisses her daughter's head. "TAMAKI! GET IN HERE!" her voice goes up two octaves, and the remaining men rush in after Tamaki.

"y-y –Yes, Haruhi?"

"You told my daughter that I was gonna die, why'd you do that? Honestly, she's not even a two years old yet!" She scolds wrapping her arms around her daughter. Her eye still glowed even if her body was wearing out.

"But but but—no buts!"

We kept in high spirits this afternoon, but it was obvious to everyone that her clock was winding down... every movement strained, each heartbeat agonizing. Kiki was happy mommy was paying attention to her, kissing and hugging, but she doesn't understand that each may be the last. Kaoru takes her home with him, I need to stay with her, leaving is out of the question.

"Hikaru, I'm fine! Just go get yourself a decent night's sleep in a real bed! I'll be fine... I can tell I'm not going anywhere at the moment, or the next, or even the next." she laughs and pecks my cheek, her hot breath hitting my neck. I'll miss these moments most. When we're too tired to be mad at each other. But not now, not when these times are numbered.

"Haruhi, stop, just stop. I can't stand seeing you so happy and optimistic about dying! The doctor's, they said a month at the absolute most! I have a month left with my wife and all she's doing is making me miserable during it! I can't help but cry when you put you're brave face on, especially today, I've looked at you so many times, I can tell when you're hurting and when you're not. And seeing you hurt... It makes me hurt..." I let the drips of salty water escape my eyes, darkening the color of the sheets in a few spots.

"Hika...? Why didn't you tell me? I'm your wife, I trust you. You can tell me anything." She smiles, forcing herself out of bed to some towards me.

"Haruhi! You're on bed rest!" I say hugging her frail frame loosely.

"Yeah, who cares?" She reaches up to caress my face with her little hand, but when she tries to stand again, All Hell breaks loose.

Her knees give out almost immediately, the rest of her coming with it. I cup my hands under arms to keep her from falling, and she lets out a moan before her eyes roil back in here head, and she vomits... blood. A waterfall of blood.

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" Haruhi!" her eye flutter back to me, but they can't seem to focus. I hit the panic button a lot, so it's not long before a slew of people take my beloved wife away, and into their world of medial crap Kyoya knows more about.

"Kaoru? Kaoru! It's Haruhi! She's, she's..." I hit the first speed dial in my phone and pretty much blow Kaoru's ear out, I can tell.

"I'll be right there. Just don't go take your anger out on some innocent bystander... Try a nice pillow!" the phone connection drops, leaving the dial tone in my ear. Why me?

"Hitachiin- san! You're wife she's not... Responding well... her heart's gonna give out in a few minutes, but she's requested that you go in and see her."A polite nurse escorts me into the eye of the storm, where she lies. Her skin is almost translucent, barely a shade away from blending in with the stark white hospital sheets. There's still blood on the floor, and a bit on her lips, and she's got a breathing mask on, but I've never seen her more beautiful;.. She knows what's coming; the end for her is near. The sight of it brings tears to my eyes.

"Hikaru...? Honey don't cry, I-I'm just too weak, I-I'm s-sorr-y, can y-y-y-ou get Kiki here? I n-n-n-need to s-say good bye." Her eyes look pleading, starting to well with tears. I nod slowly, then I quickly remove the breathing mask for a goodbye kiss. Nothing long and passionate, just enough to say that we'll both always love each other, no matter what.

"HARUHI!" Kaoru runs in carrying Kiki, and Kiki jumps from his grasp, and runs next to me.

"M-momma?" she ask quietly, my baby girl asks, taking in the room, the blood on the floor, on mommy's lips, and mommy herself.

"Sweetie, I'm still h-here. Come on u-up." She holds out her arms with all the strength left she has, and Murasaki climbs in without a second thought. She's smart like her mom, so she knows it's time. She starts to cry onto Haruhi's hospital gown while Haruhi whispers goodbyes and sweet nothings into Kiki's ear. Kaoru leans over to give Haruhi a little squeeze and whisper "thanks for all you've done little sister."

I join in on the hug last, sobbing the hardest. MY dearest Haruhi, I just can't bear to be without you. She's got tears running down her face and her face starts to contort in pain.

"Kaoru, can you get Murasaki out of here? This is the end, and I don't need my daughter to see it." She smiles and kisses her daughter for the last time. "I'll always love you, Murasaki, remember that!"

"I love you too mommy, I don't want to see you go! I love you!" She cries as Kaoru lifts her off Haruhi, and into the hallway.

"Hikaru b-before I-I go... there's a n-necklace in my j-j-jewelry box, a key shaped necklace. T-take it and go i-into Murasaki's room, and open the matching jewelry b-box on her d-dresser. It h-has answers and letters.

"Whatever you say, dear." I cup my hands around hers, and she smiles.

" I love you Hikaru, and Murasaki, and Kaoru, and Tamaki, and Kyoya, and Mori and Honey, and Dad, and your parents too. Tell them that I said that, okay?"

"Of course. I love you Haruhi." I say and kiss her forehead.

"I love you, Hikaru; with all of my heart I love you." She smiles and her eyes start to droop. I try to shake her, but she just smiles as her eyes droop shut forever, and the heart monitor displays the truth: My Haruhi, my tanuki, is gone. I lay my head on her stomach and sob. She's gone. S-she's gone. Gone forever.

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Soooo... should I continue? Tell me in a review! It's the only way to know if you guys like this! Oh and the next few chapters are from when Murasaki is still little but gets idler each chapter until we actually get to the story ( yeah I know it sucks but I'm adding back round info that is important...)

Thanks for reading and I'm gonna update this and the rest of my stories soon!

LUV YA LOTS!

PFB:3


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